Letter #1: A pigeon
Hope you are doing well. Did you have a good summer or winter?
The unbearable heat is finally fading here, and now we need long sleeves for morning and evening. Though I need to be careful with these temperature changes, I feel happy and relieved that autumn is coming soon.
This summer, a pair of pigeons made a nest on the tree which stands right in front of our living room. I’ve seen some birds nesting in our garden, but they never nest this openly. Even to my eyes, it was a very bodge job so it didn’t endure long, but it was fun to look at the bird sitting there all the time.
After Fuyu, my white java sparrow left 2 years ago, I call the pigeons that come to our garden Fuyu and her friends. When she fell (that’s how we say it here for birds), I couldn’t accept that she was gone and couldn’t do anything. She was fine and jumping around 10 minutes ago, so I convinced myself that she just fainted and wrapped her with soft tissues. I kept crying and kept saying no when my dad told me to put her into our grave for birds. (We have that in our garden. My dad made that. They got a bird-shaped stone and everything.)
And some hours later, while I was gazing outside the window, a pigeon flew in on the laundry string and started to sort of dance. At that moment, I felt like I was receiving a message from Fuyu saying “Hehe, look! I’m no longer in that small body~!” (She was a sassy bird.) So after the pigeon flew away, I brought her into our garden.
My brother told me not to tell this story because people think I’m crazy. But I share this with you because I’m probably crazy anyway and because I love the idea of Fuyu being around me as a pigeon. I have my own view of life, and that’s my way of coping with her loss. I will need to reconsider if a swarm of pigeons try to nest in our garden, but now there’s only one couple and they’re cute.
Speaking of ideas, I also love the idea that you’ll read this letter somewhere I’ve never been to or heard of. Maybe you’re now in the office, park, backstage, lodge… or on the bed, train, or grass… Wherever you are, I hope you have a wonderful day.
I’ll write to you again soon,
Setsuko
